Well, this summer I've seen a multitude of movies so far in the three or so weeks of summer, and I feel like getting into my critic pants again and beating them down for all of my watchers to see. Now, most of these movies are on DVD and are somewhat old, but I just got around to watching them thanks to the glory of Netflix. And one movie has just been released, so yeah. Deal with it. Now let the beatdown begin!

Terminator 1 and Terminator 2
Great films. Terminator 1 was excellent, and Terminator 2 was freaking sweet, and half the time I was jawdropping at the fact that the visual effects were freaking amazing. For 1991. Seriously, the T-1000 looked just as good as say, the new Transformers movie. The story for both was great, and the Governator was as usual, fricking sweet. T1 wasn't all that great because Sarah Connor spent 90% of her time as the damsel in distress, but it didn't detract too much. John Connor in T2 was somewhat insufferable, but I survived. Intelligently done, and if I ever get around to seeing T3 and T4, I'll see if I truly like the series as a whole, even with T4 getting blasted to hell and back in the reviews.

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Terminator:
Terminator 2:

Monty Python's Life of Brian
Not a great film. In comparison to the Holy Grail, this one was far worse. So it was sacrilegious and attracted a lot of controversy. So it's basically the Da Vinci Code put under the Pythonization ray. So it's got a hilarious song at the end. But the film as a whole isn't a coherent funny mess like The Holy Grail. It was just.....stupid. I couldn't get some of the jokes, and it felt like the Pythons had given up. I would have rather watched three episodes of Flying Circus than this hour and a half piece of tripe. It's only saving grace is "Always Look on the Bright Side of Life" but even that I had already experienced, thanks to Spamalot and YouTube.

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Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen
It should have been titled: Transformers 2: Explosions and Hot Decepticon Sluts. Seriously, the movie has a Decepticon that can turn into a human, Terminator-style, trying to seduce Shia Lebeouf, complete with robotic tentacles, one of which is her tongue. Freaky and depraved. Also, if ye do not mind spoilers, Optimus Prime once again meets a certain fate that was bestowed upon him in the 1986 Transformers movie. Wink Wink. Overall, massive Michael Bayhem, and deserving of no more than a passing glance. 2 and a half hours of semi-tripe, but good music, and freaking sweet special effects, including a decrepit Decepticon that's a SR-71 Blackbird. I would say, see it, enjoy it, then leave the theater and never watch it again unless you watch the action scenes only.

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Army of Darkness
See this movie. Brilliant. Bloody freaking brilliant. Sam Raimi is a genius. Bruce Campbell is awesome, the story is cheesy, the action is ludicrous, and the lines are super fantastical win. SEE IT HEATHENS. SEE IT.

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Now onto non-movies that I need to review.

Gun X Sword
Simply put, it's Trigun with giant mechs. Incredibly done, wacked out story near the end, fantastic dub, and awesome mech designs. See it for the spectacle.

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Spamalot
Monty Python and the Holy Grail as a musical with J. Peterman from Seinfeld? PURE EPIC WIN. While it didn't have the Broadway cast which featured the legendary Tim Curry, Spamalot was genius. It deserves every accolade, and Monty Python maniacs will get a kick out of the lulzieness.

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Movie Trailer reviews cuz I'm bored.

The Last Airbender
......... Change the cast Shamallama, then we'll talk about your fancypants trailer with epic CG Fire Nation ships and some interesting airbending crap.

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Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince
Rated PG? Bullshit. This is Harry Potter 6. DUMBLEDORE DIES. You can't make it PG. Epic failing maneuver. Plus the trailer was so unfamiliar that I have to go back and reread the book to make sure everything is right when the movie comes out and I can nitpick it to hell and back.

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And now for something completely different: AN ACTUAL UPDATE.

So life is going well. I'm taking classes at the Academy of Art in San Francisco: Acting and 3D Modeling. Acting is fun, 3D modeling is hard, annoying, fun, and hard. And I'm taking a class in screenwriting online. Woo. Summer water polo is fun as usual, and the weather is a combination of pain, heat, and pain. Now because I don't feel like updating on anything else, here is the Never-Gonna-Get-Around-To-Doing List (and with good reason because video games are addicting)

- Hellsing May Cry Chapter 10
- Single Chance Ch. 1 (done, finalizing)
- Single Chance Ch. 2 (done)
- Single Chance Ch. 3 (no ideas I fail)
- Code Lyoko OC ref sheet - Earth (not started)
- Fanfiction writers meme [link]

AlchemistMayCry....out. Of Sight, mind, and energon. Can I get the Matrix of Leadership over here? I don't want to die.